The Chess Table

According to the hubby, I would be the most perfect wife if I learned to play chess and video games.  To which I asked, "Soooooo you want to be married to a dude?"

Hubby:   What? Huh? NOOOOO.  
Me:  Ohhhhhh...I get it.  YOU want to be married to YOU.
Hubby:  That's not what I said.  You.  Ugh.  Nevermind.

Think before ya speak o' lil grasshopper...you're wayyyyy outta your league.

And it's moments like this that make me appreciate every single penny I spent on getting my communications degree.  Totally priceless when communicating with those from the planet Mars!

Anyway...the hubby loves chess...and I love the hubby so I wanted to make him a chess board.  And coincidentally...our small mosaic tile table was due for a makeover.  So I started looking to see how the table was put together.  And once I started dismantling in my head, I knew that another project was getting added to my to-do-to-decorate list.

Somehow these two ideas collided and I created a chess board table.  I replaced the tile top with a precut pine wood 24" round piece that I found at the orange box.  This allowed for a 16" chess board.  I outlined the 2" squares in pencil on the top.

Then painted the alternating squares with white primer.  I taped off the edges of the board and stained the board (including the painted squares) with Jacobean stain.  Then I removed the tape and stained the whole table (including the chess board) with American Chestnut stain.

The stain tinted the painted primer squares to look "aged" and the darker Jacobean provides a contrast between the chess board squares and the stained table.  And I have to say this table is one of my favorite creations!

But...sorry to the hubby...'cause as cute as this table is...I still have no desire to learn anything about the game of chess!

Snowflake = Snowball = Avalanche

I blame this mess on the never ending winter.  Last year's of course!  Yep...I started this 9 months ago!!

Back in April (2013) I was still stuck inside ('cause the white stuff refused to go away) so the resulting avalanche was totally NOT my fault.

Ya see...I was in the guest room giving it the hotel flip...ya know...clean bedding, towels, etc.  And I stayed in there for a few minutes too long.  Lingering.  Looking around a little too closely.  Realizing I no longer liked the way it looked.  It was okay but I felt like it could be better.

So I started considering my furniture placement options.  Then broke out the measuring tape.  And next thing I know...I'm in the midst of a full-on guest room redo!

Seriously...how is it possible that I go into the room just to put clean sheets on the bed and end up with Ziggy climbing to the top of the propped up mattress???

That kitty is lightening fast and was staring down at me before I could even blink!

Then my snowball starting rolling...getting bigger and bigger...

With the old furniture placement, there wasn't enough room to fully put the whole bed together.  So I was storing the partially disassembled footboard and side boards under the bed.  Which bugged me.  Since I moved the bed to the other wall, there was now room for the whole bed.

In order to reassemble the bed, the side boards needed to be cut down a few inches. Which required breaking out 'ol miter bob.  Which was hiding under winter gear in the garage.

So the following avalanche ensued....

Gain access to 'ol miter bob.
Move cars outta garage.
Cut a few inches off side boards.
Reassemble footboard pieces.
Find nails/tools/glue to reassemble footboard.
Wait on wood glue to thaw out.  (Stop storing wood glue in frozen garage.)
Find brackets/screws to attach side boards.
Reassemble the whole bed.
Spackle/fill/sand/touchup paint the whole bed.

And while I had the paint out...I decided to repaint the dresser to match.  Which required some minor disassembly and 3 coats of paint.  Of course the side tables ended up being too big for the smaller space.  So I needed to buy or build new ones.  As a compromise, I opted to keep the same bases and attach smaller wood tops.  Which required staining.  Of course.  Anything less would be waaayyyyyy too easy!

Lesson learned from this adventure:
Next time...I'm sending the hubby in to change the sheets!!!

Crooked, Cracked, and Shady

Moving day 2012 was just like most of our other moves (wayyyyyyy too many to recount at this point since we're in the double digits).  As usual we were completely packed.  As usual friends helped us load up the truck.  As usual the truck was just a bit too small.  As usual stuff got broken.  It's to be expected no matter how carefully I pack.  Kinda like a badge of honor with weird bragging rights...I think my furniture talks to each other saying stuff like..."Oh yep I earned that dent back in the Big Sunshine Move of 2004.  See that scratch...it's from that bike that leaned on me for 3 long days during the North Pole Move of 2008.  And we still cannot speak of the Disaster Moves of 2003.  Both of them.  We lost a few good possessions that year.  May that bubble glass vase rest in peace...'cause it sure was in pieces."

So I was not shocked to find that my lamp shades did not quite survive the Mall of America Move of 2012.  They were all cracked up (and not in a funny ha ha good way.)   But much like the crack disasters on Celebrity Rehab...I wanted to try to save them.  Why?  Because lamps and shades are some of the most overpriced items out there.  Along with painting services.  (If ya wanna be the next millionaire...skip college and become a house painter who sells lighting fixtures.  And moonlight by building cat scratching posts.  Become crazy rich with no student loans to pay back.  Awesome!)

In the meantime, I'll just keep on rescuing and rehabbing my cracked shades.  Originally they lived in the bedroom of our North Pole house.  The shades had a pleated fabric on the outside glued to a plastic drum on the inside.  After the move, the plastic drums were cracked beyond repair.  So I went about removing all the plastic which allowed the fabric to unpleat and hang low, almost twice as long as before (yes again...this calls for another "that's what she said."  Hopefully I will stop saying what she said soon).

I also had to remove a ribbon from the back which was covering the fabric seam and making the shade hang all crooked.  Needless to say...I still need to hot glue the seams together and cover it with some ribbon.  Probably will take less than 5 minutes but 9 months later it's still on my to-do list.

My solution was to face the seam against the wall.  'Cause in my world...if you can't see it then it doesn't exist.  A few months ago, I did consider fixing it...but then I couldn't find the glue sticks for my hot glue gun.  I finally bought some glue sticks but now I probably won't be able to find the glue gun.  'Cause I'm just lucky like that.

I don't think these lamps are a permanent solution since the table lamp is a bit short for my liking but it works for now.  So until the lamps start interrupting my sleep by talking to me at 2am...the current setup is a keeper.  Of course it helps that I didn't have to shell out any cash for this lighting project which makes the whole thing that much more attractive.

The Other Ottoman

Furniture should be like jeans.  I should be able to purchase it as short, regular, or long.  I'd buy the short version.  Sorry to all the tall people.  You get to be tall and buy clothes without having to shorten everything.  Totally unfair.  So in my fairytale world of furniture...all the tall people just need to suck it up should your knees happen to hit your chin while sitting on my petite couch.  Imagine how much it sucks to have dangling feet.  Yep...totally sucks a lot.

And since it's mucho importante to perfect the art of being a lazy couch potato...I have to fix all dangling feet issues. I'd probably watch less tv if I weren't so dang comfy watching the thing.  But that would be a problem with a whole bunch of new Jersey Shore episodes to catch up on.  And sometimes...I allow the hubby to have the couch.  Yep...I'm nice like that.  Meaning = if he should take up residence on the couch before I do...I don't kick him off...well not most of the time.  So this leaves me with sitting in the leather chair.  With dangling feet.  Which is totally distracting while I'm trying to watch my very educational, stimulating, thought provoking shows.  Seriously...how can I follow the baby-daddy drama of the housewives if I'm distracted by my dangling feet.

So my chair needed an ottoman/footstool.  And it had to be round.  So I shopped.  And shopped.  And shopped.  And realized that was a huge waste of time.  Plan B = make my own.  So I bought a foam round ottoman from Hancock Fabric (on sale plus coupon = cost only $15).  Seems like it would be flimsy but I can sit on the thing with my full weight and it doesn't sink down.  Not one bit.  Then I used a really fluffy sherpa throw blanket we already owned as the fabric.  Fluffy was key to this project.  Why?  Well...I can only sew in straight lines.  And this thing is round.  Yes...round.  So somehow I was going to have to accomplish the impossible.  Sew the fabric into a slipcover with a round top.  Yes...round.   So fluffy fabric = hide the flaws.  Because there will be flaws.  And I have no patience to practice my technique with a test run.  Nope...just jump right in and hope it works.

Overall...I survived with only few casualties...a few thread jams, wonky seams, a broken needle.  And I didn't sew the needle through my fingers so I consider this project a complete success!

DIY Touch Screen Gloves

15 = Number of gloves that I own

  0 = Number of gloves that work with my iPhone

I live in the north pole and wear gloves for 6 months of the year.  Which I think should sufficiently explain why I own so many gloves.  Except that I have more winter accessories than most people who have lived here all their lives.  Hummmmmm.....

So I thought I would try to DIY my own smart touch gloves.  A quick Google search informed me that I would need some kind of conductive thread/fabric.  Which only seemed to be available online.  Really????  Only online????  C’mon really!!!! Why must every simple plan become sooooo complicated?!?!  Searching a bit more revealed that plain metallic thread may work.  Okay…that’s more my style.  So I found some metallic embroidery floss/thread stuff at Michaels that worked perfectly on my phone’s touch screen for only $2 bucks.  I was feeling pretty good about my plan and had visions of successfully converting all my gloves over to “smart” ones for only $2 bucks!  Genius, right?!?!

Until I started working on my first pair of gloves.  Let’s just say things started to head south pretty quickly.  And not the “I’m going to a tropical climate in the middle of winter” kinda south.  More like the dreaded “I’m getting older and my body parts are sagging” kinda south! 

First off...threading the needle was a b*%@#!!!!  During which time I unfortunately caught the attention of the little bads.  And they still love their strangs!  Needle + thread + kitties = Chaos!

Next, I tried to sew little metallic “pads” on a couple of different gloves, testing out different techniques and seeing what would work best.  Long story short…it took way too much time and was not very successful.  The conductive material still requires my fingers to be the conductor.  So the thread and/or fabric has to be sewn in such a way as to transmit current from the inside of the glove to the outside.  This was challenging to accomplish and resulted in many stab wounds from that bleeping needle.  Ya know...owning a thimble would have really come in handy.

Holy cow!  Did I really just say that..."owning a thimble"?!?  I was never a home ec kinda girl...yet here I am sewing my gloves wishing I owned a thimble!  That's crazytown!

So what's my progress to date on this glove conversion????  Well...I have successfully completed 1 "touch pad" on exactly 1 glove.  And it's not very attractive looking.  So with my most awesome success rate....I quit!  I'm throwing in the towel, or should say gloves, on this brilliant idea.  It's back to the drawing board.  Well...actually...to the mall.

Let me introduce the newest member in my glove family...

Update:

16 = Number of gloves that I own

  1 = Number of gloves that work with my iPhone

I'm sure no one saw that coming.  Ha! Ha!

The Rug (Part 2)

So I had the most fabulous plans to DIY an 8x12 area rug for my office.  Why you ask?  Why not I say.  Doesn’t everyone make their own rugs?!  Hummmmm…guess not.

Okay…it was a great idea.  But then I couldn’t find the last 4x6 rug I needed to complete the project.  Ya see…I did the usual song and dance of shopping for a ready-made rug only to find smaller ones that were not quite right (but were the right price) and larger ones that were perfect (and perfectly too expensive)!  So on to Plan B…buy 8ft of shaggy wall-to-wall carpenting off the roll from my friends at Orange.  I did some calculating, more window shopping, and decided Plan B was not quite what I wanted either.  Back to the drawing board.  Plan C????  DIY a rug.

And why does this DIY rug thing make perfect sense to me (and probably only me)?!?  'Cause I can have a custom 8x12 area rug for only $40 buck-a-roos.  When I first started shopping for the "perfect rug" (that I quickly learned does not exist), I found super plush-thick-shaggy-bound 4x6 carpet remnants on sale for $10 bucks each.  Then an idea evolved to get 4 of them in coordinating colors and shagg-i-ness, cut 'em into 2ft square sections, and attach 'em all back together (with duck tape...of course) into one big 'ol rug.  (I'm pretty sure my dad is the only one who will truly appreciate the genius-ness of using duck tape in this plan!)

Problem:  I didn't factor in not being able to find all 4 rugs.  Arggggggghhh!

Soooooo..the rugs I did find and buy just sat on my office floor, rolled up and unopened, for a long, long time.  However, the little bads did use them as an obstacle course during their daily games of hide-n-seek.

But then I got tired of being rugless, so I decided to roll them out and just line them up on the floor.  Some rug would be a 100% improvement over no rug.  And strangely enough..... I'm satisfied with the current set up. Maybe that's 'cause it took all of 5 minutes to complete and I have a custom 6x12 rug.  

Lazy + Cheap = Happy 

(for now....)

The Man Cave - Part 6 - Finale!

I'll just let the photos do the talking on this one.  It's probably best that way since I will most likely say something completely inappropriate and totally stupid.  So I'm off to play the quiet game...and the time starts....now!

The Man Cave - Part 5

Lastly, I set out to recover/slipcover the black leather (or is it ple-ther? ya know...fake leather) office chair.  So generic.  Such a typical man-space chair.  

Since I was the one who put that thing together a few years ago, I knew it could be updated with some staples and a bit of sewing. Of course what that really means is I was totally just winging it and hoping for the best.  Good news:  the chair actually turned out better than expected. And even some of my slipcovering mistakes turned out to be happy accidents that worked better in the end.

And since the hubby requested a "guest" chair, I raided the stash of free ones chillin' in my garage. Yep...I just said "chillin'"...since the chairs are literally cold and figuratively hanging out in the garage.  I know... too funny right?!...I should totally have my own comedy tour!   Anyway...a bit more time with the ORB spray paint, some extra fabric stapled over a new seat cushion, and success...chair #2!

And gotta love Zoey for being my little photo-bomber kitty.  She's kinda a spoiled diva.  But I don't mind.  The other day she informed me that her paws were cold and requested some UGG boots.  Not sure if they come in her size though.  I'll have to check on that along with her request for a Tebow jersey.  In the meantime...the little bads are enjoying the newly redesigned man cave.  Drumroll please...The Man Cave - Part 6 - Finale!

The Man Cave - Part 4

Now that I had all the core pieces set, it was time to try to unify everything.  There was still a hodge-podge of stereotypical man textures competing with each other...black, chrome, glass.  Blah.  Seriously...that décor is the furniture version of a pimped-out chrome muffler...it's like catnip for boys.  I totally don't get it...but then again...I'm not a boy.

So I took to the streets...well, actually just to my backyard...with my new favorite friend:  a can of oil-rubbed bronze (ORB) spray paint.  All the shiney silver surfaces went ORB.  

Then I tried out a can of frosted glass spray paint for the desktop.  The clear glass really seemed to confuse the kitties.  It made no sense that they could walk on a surface they could see through.  But they learned to just trust it.  Then I took the glass out to frost it.  And came back to find really frustrated kitties...jumping up to a glass surface that was no longer there and falling right through to the floor.  If they could talk, I'm sure the little bads would have had a few choice words for me on the subject.

I'm not totally sold on the frosted glass and metal desk look but it works for now.  I'm thinking of building a much cooler desk outta wood and metal plumbing pipes but that's a project for another day.  Maybe when it warms up outside and turning on the heat in the house is no longer required.  Let's see...that should be...ummm...sometime in June?!?!  Oiy!!  Good thing the last of my projects for this is-it-ever-gonna-end makeover were of the indoor variety - more details in The Man Cave - Part 5.

The Man Cave - Part 3

Now that the office had a lounge area with a cozy loveseat...it needed a side table.  Where else was I gonna put my glass of wine?!?!  And then I remembered the table that I started building this past summer but never finished 'cause I got stuck on the design.  The "x" table legs were just hanging out in the garage.  Well the measurements were a perfect match for the space my side table would occupy.  And it was half completed already = less time in the cold garage.  Perfect!  I like lazy projects.

Unfortunately it took longer than expected because my tools are divas and don't like the cold.  I still need to replace that broken drill bit.  And buy a nail gun.  Get a heated garage.  Ohhhh...and we're out of eggs too.  Yep...I may just have the strangest shopping list on the planet.

Honestly...I'm still amazed that this table doesn't fall over!  But to my surprise it's quite sturdy.  I gave it a couple of coats of oil-rubbed bronze (ORB) spray paint...'cause I'm all fancy like that...and attached a pine board as the top.  There's absolutely no finish on the top at all.  I kinda like it looking raw and rustic so for now it will remain untouched.

Thankfully...we've had a "warm" winter up here in the good 'ol north pole.  So my spray painting season extended well into November.  Those details are next in The Man Cave - Part 4.