Don't mess with my sleep!

My day started off with this statement to the hubby:

Stop throwing the little bads (Ziggy and Zoey) on me in the middle of the night in your efforts to get them off you.  If it happens again…I will be collecting on your life insurance policy. Cah-peesh?!

Photo Day 362: Custom TP (9.27.11)

Photo Day 362:  Custom TP (9.27.11)

I really question why I even bother buying cat toys.

Photo Day 361: Dear...O'my...deer! (9.26.11)

Photo Day 361: Dear...O'my...deer! (9.26.11).  Dear treadmill:   I hate you!  But don't take it personally...I hate Mondays equally as much!

Guess I should just be grateful that I have legs suitable for running. Which is more than I can say for some poor deer.  Ya see...on my way to the gym (treadmill...I still hate you) I walked past a co-worker's office.  Outside his door is a garbage bag with 2 furry hoofs sticking out the top.  For reals!


Me:  Please tell me that's not a dead animal in the bag.
Him:  No it's not....
Me:  O'good 'cause that's creepy.
Him:  ....it's only 2 of it's legs.

Awesome.  So glad I asked.

Decorat-e-nomics

Economical. That’s how I would best describe my decorating budget. And I think it sounds sooooo much better than cheapo or tightwad.  Why spend a million bucks if I don't have to?!?!  Let's just overlook the small detail that I don't have a million bucks.  But if I did...hello Jeff Lewis I have a job for you...and can you bring Zoila along?  We really love her!  Ooooo...and bring the fluffy cat too 'cause he's really cute!

In the meantime...I'll just continue being "conservative with my resources."  Which really means = acquire free stuff and spray paint it black.  Works every time!

10ft curtain rod.
10ft electrical conduit pipe = $2
Black spray paint = $1
Total = $3

Wall of curtains.
12 yards of discount fabric = $24
4 twin size flat sheets = $12
Total = $36

Kitchen Art Treo.
(3) 11x17 artist canvases @ $2 each = $6
Paint already owned = $0
Total = $6

Sam Taft Art.
18x20 rustic frame from a rummage sale = $5
Photo matte = $3
Sam Taft poster = $7
Total = $15

Office Tree Art.
24x30 frame from local free-cycle center = $0
Tree poster = $5
Black spray paint = $1
Total = $6

Slipcovered chair. 
Chair rescued from roadside = $0
1 yard of discount fabric = $2
Paint already owned = $0
Total = $2

It's a spoon...I think...

Sometimes shopping requires a pep talk. A "huddle up the team and let's get down to bid-ness" kinda chat! The Vikings should try it sometime.  Maybe it would help 'em show up and play the second half of a game one day. 

Anyway...on occasion...I've been known to hold a conversation with myself. I know...not so shocking. So imagine me chatting it up with me. Pretty entertaining, ehhh?? Or consider the discussions I have with Ziggy and Zoey. Mucho awesome-ness! 

After one of my infamous pep talks, I scored this strange object at a local second-hand shop. What is it? I dunno. But it was big, unique, metal, and only $4 buck-a-roos.  Way too cool to pass up.  And it was going to be a super quick make-over.  A few coats of spray paint later...we have the coolest key dish ever!

Moral of the story...talk to yourself like a crazy person and the universe will provide a large metal spoon to hold your keys. 

And maybe one day the Vikings will win a game.  Or not.  The jury is still out on that one.

Cookies or beer?

Food should be simple.  The ingredient list should not read like a scientific drug paper.  I should be able to…at very minimum…pronounce what I am eating.  Butylated Hydroxyanisole…what the heck is that?!?!   Sounds o’ so yummy…ehhh?  

Hey hubby…can you make me some butylated hydroxyanisole for dinner?  I’ve just been craving it alllllll day!  

Also, I heard someone say that if your grandma wouldn’t recognize it as food…don’t eat it.  Sounds like a good plan.  Well…unless of course…granny is a scientist at one of those processed food manufacturers.  Then you might be S.O.L.  Ever wonder why granny's cookies were sooooo amazing and she refused to share her "secret recipe"??? Hummmm...just a thought.

Anyway...my grandma likes beer so that must mean it's good for me.  O'yeah...score...lucky me!  Thanks grandma!  Beer is way better than chemical cookies any day!

Flamingos or toilet paper?

Strange people...these northern Minnesotans!  The whole yard was littered with plastic pink flamingos.

I suppose southerners are just too cheap to "vandalize"  with lawn ornaments...since eggs and toilet paper seem to be just as effective.  Well...not that I would have any first-hand knowledge about TPing houses.  Unlike my parents who TP'd our priest's house.  Oops...your secret is out!  My bad. 

That explains a lot about me....ehhhh?!  It's apparent this apple doesn't fall far from her tree!

Photo Day 349: Real life is funny (9.14.11)

Photo Day 349:  Real life is funny (9.14.11)
Today was our first frost/freeze warning for the season.  And I looked out the window at work to see the grounds crew laying fresh sod and giving it a good 'ol dose of water.  Now I'm not a landscaping expert...but I'm pretty certain that frostbitten sod will not produce healthy green grass.  Especially since it's about to be covered in snow for the next 6 months.

Money well spent ehhh????

And....
Japanese researcher + limited English + bicycle vs truck = Is this a joke???  Nope.  This is how my workday ended.  Our visiting scientist with very limited English comes running into the office to get me...

Come.  Follow.  Accident.  (At which point I'm thinking....crap!! he blew up a lab or something.)
Then he says accident...bike...car hit.  Huhhh???
Bike...car hit...damaged.  Wha????


So I follow him through the research wing, down several flights of stairs, to the ground floor, out the receiving doors...to find an old fella, looking a bit shaken up, lighten' up a smoke, standing next to his truck, and a broken up bicycle on the ground.  Apparently, this old fella hit our scientist (riding my boss's bike) with his truck.


OHHHHHH   MMMMMM   GEEEEE!  Little Japanese man....are you okay???  

Luckily he was fine...no injuries...or so that's what I took away from our japan-glish conversation.  All I know is that real life is funny.  It's impossible to make this stuff up!

Wanted: Humor.

So the hubby informs me that he read one of my posts the other day but it didn't make him laugh.  Apparently it wasn't funny enough.

Hummmm.....Really Mr. Pink Shoes....You wanna go there?!?

Well then...consider yourself warned...we'll see who gets the last laugh.

Just curious...if I hide cat toys on the hubby's side of the bed...I wonder how long it would take the little bads (aka Ziggy and Zoey) to find them?  I'm guessing sometime around 2a.m.-ish would be perfect timing!  

Photo Day 346: Observations (9.11.11)

Photo Day 346:  Observations (9.11.11)

I think it's odd that....

I recognize the sound of a hand sander without even looking at it.

I believe that spray painting is an official season.  Fall.  Winter.  Spring. Summer. Spray Paint.

And the start of fall/winter marks the end of spray paint season.

The hubby asks me what time the football game starts and I know the answer.

Our kittens watch TV.  They really like football and weather forecasts.

Photo Day 336: Who's Calling? (9.1.11)

Photo Day 336:  Who's Calling? (9.1.11)
Can ya believe it...an actual working pay telephone?!?  I didn't know that such a thing still exists.  But apparently I walk by this one everyday.  Who knew!?!  And I'm so oblivious to it that I was startled/shocked when it started ringing as I walked by.  So weird. 

Did I answer it?  Heck no!!!  That's how people end up as a story on those Dateline Unsolved Mysteries specials. What if it really was a call for me?  It could have been a crazy stalker serial-killer.  Or that facebook weirdo that I keep un-friending.  Or my boss. Ya just never know.  Best to be safe and ignore the ringing phone...just keep on walkin'!!

Painting my office. Again.

I…well we (can't forget the hubby)…repainted my office. Ok…technically it’s the formal dining room but who needs one of those when there’s a perfectly good set of chairs to sit in while eating in front of the TV in the living room. Whew! That was a long sentence. In short…we watch TV while eating. And yes…I do understand that according to the experts…we are contributing to the demise of the American family values system and adding to the obesity epidemic and all the other bad stuff that my generation has done to ruin the world. But in defense of all Generation X-ers...the last time I checked…Babyboomers have been running things for the last 30+ years. So don't blame me because everything is manufactured in China.  I was barely old enough to spot China on a map when those manufacturing deals went down!

Anyway…back to my dining room turned office. Originally (2 years ago) we painted the walls a medium gray. However, next to the dark woodwork, the color looked a bit blueish. And that room doesn’t get a lot of natural light because of the large trees outside so it was starting to feel cave-like. It took me for-ev-errrrrr to pick a new paint color but I finally decided on a light beige that was one shade darker than the living room. I really hate repainting rooms but the finished product is sooooo much better. Light, bright, and airy. Not dark, dungeon, and man-cavey.

And out went the black koi rug. It was really sucking the light out of the room. We scored an amazing deal on it a few years ago so I decided to take a risk buying it and venture out of my decorating comfort zone. However, 2 years later, it’s still too out of the box for me. So the hubby claimed it for his office. He likes dark, dungeon, and man-cavey.

And of course I had to rearrange all the furniture in there. Again. But I do think the current layout could be the winner. Well…at least for the next 6 months….

Ripped in the buff

I’ve been pondering/looking for new bath towels for 2 years now. I know…that’s wwaaayyyyy too long for any normal person. But our old ones were still really nice and fluffy. They (blue and tan) just didn’t match the pink-brown-white bathroom color scheme. And this is a problem in my world. However, those blue and tan towels have recently started to rip. In the exact same spot. So strange. Oddly enough the hubby’s gym towels have started to rip in the exact same spot. Hummmm…I guess the hubby in the buff is too buff and created a rip with his ripped self (excessive flattery and clever wordplay will allow me to get away with pinning this one on him)!

Non-matching towels I can deal with. Ripped towels is where I draw the line. So I was off to invest in new towels. And…yes…invest is how I describe my towel purchases. They must be big. They must be fluffy. They must be thick. Which all translates to…they’re gonna be pricey.

So off to shop I went...determined not to return home until I had bought new towels.  2 years is too long and rips cannot be tolerated!  Several stores and several hours later I returned home with new towels and some coordinating fabric.

Can anyone explain to me how going out to buy a few new towels turns into making roman shades and painting the mattes in the bathroom artwork?  No wonder I have a project list a mile long!!

People always ask where I come up with my ideas.  I dunno.  Really one minute I'm trying to decide on a towel color and the next thing I know I'm buying a yard of fabric.  Apparently inspiration lurks in the towel aisle.

And what makes no sense at all...I bought brown and green towels.  Yep...my bathroom is mainly covered in pink tile.  So can I explain the green?  Nope.  Not one bit.  Except that I was stalked and kidnapped by an idea in the towel aisle.   Which is how I ended up making roman shades with the coordinating fabric and painting the mattes green.

Sheesh!  So much work.  I need a nap just thinking about it!  Maybe I should just learn to love ripped, unmatching towels...yep...that's never gonna happen!

And on the subject of new towels, I stumbled across this post from thebloggess.com.  It is quite possibly one of the funniest things I have ever read.  So consider yourselves warned.  I will not be held responsible should someone pee their pants laughing or shoot hot coffee outta their nose.

Our Twins

Just too cute for words!

Photo Day 332: Ballin' the Down (8.28.11)

Photo Day 332:  Ballin' the Down (08.28.11)

I ventured to a laundromat to tackle my king size down comforter bedding and it was loads of fun.  Get it…loads of laundry = loads of fun.  Ha! Ha!  I’m so easily amused. 

My strategy:  find the largest front loading washers on earth for all the bedding.  Watch it get all sudsy and swish around for a while.  Enjoy some free wi-fi while I wait.  Then try not to freak out when the spin cycle starts, hoping beyond hope that I don’t start seeing feathers fly out.  After confirming that all bedding survived…I transferred it to the largest dryer on earth.  Seriously…the dryer directions said “up to 75 pounds”.  Holy cow!  That’s some heavy laundry.  Put that stuff on a diet ASAP! 

And the dryer also said adding tennis balls would dry the down bedding faster.  Oh sure…no problem…’cause I keep spare balls with me all the time.  Maybe they should start selling tennis balls in the vending machines right next to the laundry detergent.  Just a thought.

Photo Day 283: Paint multiplies (7.10.11)

Photo Day 283:  Paint multiplies (7.10.11)
I woke up today and was informed by my can of paint that "it was time."  The can that has been sitting in the same spot on my office floor for 6 weeks.  With the color that I decided on over 2 months ago.  Geez I'm really slow these days. 

I enlisted the hubby's help and we painted.  We have a system now.  I do all the edges/cutting in and the hubby does all the rolling.  I can do edges freehand but can't manage to roll a wall without getting paint on a million other surfaces.  Go figure.

And somehow tackling just one paining project isn't enough for one day.  My brain thinks it logical to multi-task several at a time.

So the coffee table turned bench also fell victim to some more paint...

MN Government Shut Down

I had to laugh when one Minnesota politician said he would not budge on the spending issue because he couldn't burden our state's future children and grandchildren.  Ya know...the imaginery future people who don't even exist yet. 

Good to know we are looking out for those future-may-never-exist folks.  As opposed to the real people.  With real bills.  Trying to provide for their real families.

Guess that politician has no issue burdening the state's current and very real people.  Until the next election.  Then he has to figure out how the state's future children and grandchildren can show up to vote for him.

A Conversation with Paris

This one is totally wrong on so many levels but it made me laugh...

A while back I had a conversation with Paris.  She was quite annoyed that I brought out the evil blue machine again.  Ya know...the vacuum cleaner...her arch rival/enemy.  So I made a promise to Paris that should my klutzy self accidently spill her ashes one day...I will absolutely...under no circumstance...vacuum her up!!!

Photo Day 337: Drink up little flies (9.2.11)

Photo Day 337:  Drink up little flies (9.2.11)
Fruit flies.  Do these things even have a purpose in life other than to bug me?  (And that "bug" pun was totally accidental!)  Seriously...no fruit = no flies.  Fruit in bowl on counter = little gnats taking over my kitchen.  So annoying!  Well thanks to google...there's an easy fix to this fly problem.

Step 1:  Put all the fruit in the fridge.  (That's my solution for all food.  Cereal, pasta, rice.  You name it.  Just store everything in the fridge.)

Step 2:  Set out a glass with some dish soap mixed into apple cider vinegar.  The flies are drawn to drink the sweet vinegar and drown/die ingesting the dish soap.

Seems a bit Dexter-like now that I think about it.  Ya know...this may qualify me as a fruit fly serial killer...hummmm.....but like Dexter I'm just making the world...well my kitchen at least...a better place.

Scrabble for Dummies

Not really sure why I decided to add "eat" to the kitchen.  Prolly should say "don't eat".  But it's a kitchen and the large ceramic letters were free and it seemed appropriate.  Just a little white spray paint and my letters were kitchen ready.

Plus it's like life size daily scrabble.  It also spells "ate" and "tea".  I know...my IQ is wayyyy up there!