Happy Halloween!

I thought the little bads would enjoy dressing up for Halloween.

I was wrong.

I'm quite certain they are already plotting their revenge.

Oh well...it was totally worth whatever punishment they decide to dish out!

Monday Night Football?

Today is Thursday and I'm watching Monday Night Football on ESPN.

Huhhhhhh?!?!?! 

Somebody get those folks a calendar 'cause I'm pretty sure that Monday Night Football should be played on a Monday!!!

Just add this as yet another thing that's wrong with NFL pre-season games.

Zoey Games: Where's Waldo Part II

Zoey:  I'll just hold this spot for you.

Me:  Should I file you under "C" for cute?

Zoey:  Nope.  File me under "C" for crazy.  It's more accurate.

The Twilight Saga: Geico Style

What's worse than finding a dead lizard in the house???  Finding out that my dead lizard...was not actually dead.  Ughhhhhhh!  

Recently I was moving some furniture and found a dead lizard amongst the dust bunnies.  So I went to find a broom and dust pan to dispose of said lizard.  Only to realize upon return that it had vanished!!!  Meaning:  I have a "dead" lizard running wild in the house!  Why 'o why must this stuff happen to me?!?!?!?!



(Whad'ya think?  That there would be a picture of the lizard???  Hello...no comprende english???  I just told ya the deader-than-a-doornail reptile came back to life and didn't stick around for photos, interviews, or autographs.  Otherwise I'd totally be on Oprah right now.  Telling my story.  Making millions.)

Cheese Puffs: At least they're gluten free!

Gluten free and made with real cheese.  So they must be healthy.
Just overlook whatever "ingredient" makes them florescent orange.

Better stock up on cheese puffs now 'cause there might be a shortage at Christmas time.  According to Honey Boo Boo...reindeer recognize food by color.  Really.  I've never heard that before.  But Honey Boo Boo says as long as it's orange...carrots, cheese puffs, etc...it's all the same.  Wow.

Sometimes I wonder about my choices in TV shows.  However, this one has subtitles so it must be educational.  Nevermind the fact that it's a show featuring English speaking southerners airing in English speaking markets AND subtitles are still required to have any clue as to what they're sayin'!

Ziggy's World: Travel Size Accessories

Ziggy:  "Not so fast lady...you're not going on another trip without me.  See...I fit perfectly in your carryon luggage."

Flip N' Flop

Just takin' my flip flops out for a test drive.  Gotta make sure they are road ready.

Yep...all good.

Crooked, Cracked, and Shady

Moving day 2012 was just like most of our other moves (wayyyyyyy too many to recount at this point since we're in the double digits).  As usual we were completely packed.  As usual friends helped us load up the truck.  As usual the truck was just a bit too small.  As usual stuff got broken.  It's to be expected no matter how carefully I pack.  Kinda like a badge of honor with weird bragging rights...I think my furniture talks to each other saying stuff like..."Oh yep I earned that dent back in the Big Sunshine Move of 2004.  See that scratch...it's from that bike that leaned on me for 3 long days during the North Pole Move of 2008.  And we still cannot speak of the Disaster Moves of 2003.  Both of them.  We lost a few good possessions that year.  May that bubble glass vase rest in peace...'cause it sure was in pieces."

So I was not shocked to find that my lamp shades did not quite survive the Mall of America Move of 2012.  They were all cracked up (and not in a funny ha ha good way.)   But much like the crack disasters on Celebrity Rehab...I wanted to try to save them.  Why?  Because lamps and shades are some of the most overpriced items out there.  Along with painting services.  (If ya wanna be the next millionaire...skip college and become a house painter who sells lighting fixtures.  And moonlight by building cat scratching posts.  Become crazy rich with no student loans to pay back.  Awesome!)

In the meantime, I'll just keep on rescuing and rehabbing my cracked shades.  Originally they lived in the bedroom of our North Pole house.  The shades had a pleated fabric on the outside glued to a plastic drum on the inside.  After the move, the plastic drums were cracked beyond repair.  So I went about removing all the plastic which allowed the fabric to unpleat and hang low, almost twice as long as before (yes again...this calls for another "that's what she said."  Hopefully I will stop saying what she said soon).

I also had to remove a ribbon from the back which was covering the fabric seam and making the shade hang all crooked.  Needless to say...I still need to hot glue the seams together and cover it with some ribbon.  Probably will take less than 5 minutes but 9 months later it's still on my to-do list.

My solution was to face the seam against the wall.  'Cause in my world...if you can't see it then it doesn't exist.  A few months ago, I did consider fixing it...but then I couldn't find the glue sticks for my hot glue gun.  I finally bought some glue sticks but now I probably won't be able to find the glue gun.  'Cause I'm just lucky like that.

I don't think these lamps are a permanent solution since the table lamp is a bit short for my liking but it works for now.  So until the lamps start interrupting my sleep by talking to me at 2am...the current setup is a keeper.  Of course it helps that I didn't have to shell out any cash for this lighting project which makes the whole thing that much more attractive.

Did ya know...?

Somehow...there's never enough time in a day to get everything done BUT there's always time for a nap.  Which may explain why my "to do" list is forever long and never-ending (yep I know...this calls for a "that's what she said").  Oh well...a girl can dream (of being totally organized and caught up that is)...during one of those naps of course!

Please be kind and rewind.

Like back-in-the-day VHS rentals.  Before DVD's, Redbox, and Netflix.  It's time for me to rewind and catch up.  And since I can't seem to stay focused for more than 2 seconds at a time...let my random ramblings begin now.  Or now.  Maybe now.  How about now.

??????????????

??????????????

??????????????

Darn little bads...they keep distracting me with their shenanigans.  And then I just zone out.  Adult A.D.D. I tell ya!  I just zoned out again for 10 minutes and was brought back to reality by that annoying cursor blinking at me.

Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.

Okay.  Where was I before I got interrupted...interrupted by myself no less.  Ugh!  Oh yep...random ramblings...

Sooooooo we moved 9 months ago and contrary to my stellar documentation (yes...I'm being sarcastic) I still design and build stuff.  But I haven't quite got around to sharing any of it.  Ooooops!  Ya know my projects rarely reach 100% completion anyway...so dropping the ball on sharing my "completed" projects shouldn't be shocking to anyone!

Pardon the interruption.  Again.  A sleepy Ziggy just curled up in my lap.  And I'm a sucker for a purring cuddly cat.

Anyway...my point is...(and yes hubby...I do have a point and yes I just rambled on aimlessly before getting to it)...my point is that I'm gonna try try try to share share share my projects.

And with that Ziggy just left my lap to go sleep on Zoey.  I guess she makes a better pillow than I do.  She is a little squishy...but let's not tell her that 'cause she's also a bit of a diva!

That's Odd!

We ate at this local diner for breakfast a while ago.  I saw this sign posted outside the bathrooms as we were leaving.  I started to rethink our decision to eat there and wondered what the car ride home would be like.

A bag of granola sold in my local grocery store named Crapola!  Made in Ely MN. Their slogan:  

"Makes even weird people regular"

I think it's funny and disturbing all at the same time.  Colonoscopy prep anyone????

And why does the girl on the bag look so much like me?!?!  Minus the pitchfork and chicken of course.  I'm not the farming type.  But if I were the chicken...I'd be concerned about that pitchfork.

What I want to know is when did street signs start talking????  As I approached the crosswalk I heard a man's voice counting down.  But there was no one around.  This can't be good.  Now I'm hearing voices that don't exist.  Luckily I discovered that it was the crosswalk sign.  Whew!!!

I waited for Mr. Talking Crosswalk to finish his countdown.  Surely he has more to say than just counting numbers.  Three...two...one...zero.  Silence.  And then just restarted his countdown again.  Ahhhhh...such a waste of taxpayer dollars.  Mr. Talking Crosswalk would be so much more effective if he said:  You will get hit by a speeding car if your @$$ is not on this sidewalk when I reach zero.  Wanna test me on this?

Recently on an elevator.  Which floor?  Going down?  2... 1... -1.  Hummmmmm...negative one?  Well...now that's different.

I Ugg You

Thank you Ms. Claus for my Ugg boots!  They have kept my toes from freezing off in our recent subzero temperatures.

Of course the hubby wanted to know "what about me? what do I get?"  Hummmm...you get a happy wife with 10 toasty warm toes!  And you can't put a price tag on that.  Therefore Uggs for me are actually a priceless gift for the hubby....

Ha! Ha!...he didn't buy that logic (i.e. bull$#%!) either.  Next time I'll just distract him with ESPN.

Food-ca-tion: Vegas Style

FIRST let me preface this by saying we split each dish. Even us gluttons have limits!

@ Hash House A Go Go - ordered the man vs food challenge dish - pretty sure it contained a little bit of everything on their menu!  Yes...that's a huge piece of fried chicken on top!

@ Serendipity - ordered their signature steak and eggs baguette sandwich and coffee - So good! Their mugs were sooooo large it was like drinking a whole pot o'coffee in one cup. Yep...nobody needs that much caffeine prior to hitting up the slot machines. Those loud, wild, dinging machines had nothin' on us when our spin would win. Which was pretty laughable since we were rollin' with the big dogs on the penny slots. Yep...two people should not get so excited about rackin' up 150 pennies. Unlike the dude at Wynn who drew a crowd winning at blackjack...minimum bet at his table: $1000! And what I loved most about this guy was the $1 old navy flip flops he was rockin'!

@ Wynn buffet - it was neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-ending - so where are the photos?  Well...my past self talked to my present self and I took my own advice.  (What past self said.)  Noted.

And I've decided that it's slightly odd that I take pictures of our food. But...I do it anyway. I'm pretty sure it's not normal to be this obsessed with food. But it's my thing.  AND before you get all judgey-mic-judgemental on me...remember we ALL have a thing.  Not sure what yours is?  Just ask me and I'll tell ya...or don't ask and I'll probably tell ya...'cause I super suck at being Minnesota nice!

However...I'm still trying to decide if my food obsession should be added to my I-need-therapy list or my possible new career as a food critic/blogger list.  I lean toward the new career list since my I-need-therapy list is already pretty long.

Junk Mail

I'm annoyed by getting the mail.  So usually I don't bother.  And here's another reason why...

I open the mailbox.  There's only one piece of mail in there.  Addressed to me.  Not the hubby or our household.  Directly to me.  Only me.  And it's for a weight loss clinic!

Wow.  You b*!@#!!!!!  So now the mail is calling me fat!  No wonder people develop eating disorders.

Zoey Games: Where's Waldo?

Zoey:  Just call me Waldo from now on.  Thank you.

Photo 12.28.12: Liquid Oatmeal

Most days of the week I try to have some oatmeal.  Ya know....'cause it's healthy.  Of course...some days I opt for the liquid version.  Oatmeal Stout.  So much better than that instant Quaker stuff...

Photo 11.29.12: 50 Shades of Red

In my quest to choose the perfect shade of red nail polish, I had a Dexter moment. Even I was a little creeped out by my Ice Truck killer hand.

Photo 12.25.12: A Charlie Brown Christmas

Since we didn't have a Christmas tree (again!) in our own house, we thought it would be fun to drive around and check out the outdoor lights of some of our neighbors.  I'm guessing these people have a decorated tree in their living room and bedroom and kitchen and bathroom and basement and...well you get the point.

And then we came across the Charlie Brown house.  I think there's something a bit off with having a Peanuts Gang nativity scene.  The virgin Lucy with baby Snoopy?????  And that probably leaves Linus as one of the wise men.  Hummmmm...

Photo 12.25.12: The Imaginary Tree

There’s something magical about having a Christmas tree.  Nevermind the whole impractical nature of the thing…ya know the added electric cost, hours to decorate and undecorate the thing, taking up valuable square footage, blah blah blah.  Last year we nixed the tree after a day because the little bads were…well…just plain bad!  But I was convinced that being a year older, they could be now be trusted with a decorated tree.  The hubby was not so confident.  So just as I’m making my case and trying to convince the hubby that our little bads are more mature…we hear a loud sound.  And look up just in time to see Zoey climbing the lamp shade…and then watch as Zoey, the lamp, and the shade all tumble over with a crash.

Well then...I guess that pretty much puts an end to the tree discussion.  Soooooo...how's the weather?!

And that's how we came to be treeless again this year.  Yep....just an empty corner in our living room where it would have been.  

Photo 12.24.12: Yule Log Channel

I never paid much attention to the Yule log channel before.  This year I flipped it on to have Christmas music in the background and a “fireplace” in my kitchen.  I always figured it was a gas fire with fake/fixed logs that someone videoed.  Until we were enjoying our Christmas dinner and the hubby informs me that someone threw a log on the fire.  Huh?  What fire?  Oh the fake TV fire.  And this is how we got sucked into watching the Yule log channel on Christmas Eve.

Seriously…dinner conversation included:  did you see ‘em throw another log on the fire?  Ooooo ooooo you gotta see this…a poker just enter the picture.  Uh oh…looks like that front log may roll outta the fireplace.  I wonder if they’ll keep filming if the whole place starts to go up in flames? 

Photo 12.10.12: Frozen Drinks?

And then we had to go home.  And were greeted by winter wonderland.

I keep hoping that the little island man will walk by with some more of those frozen rum drinks.  Not sure what's taking him so long!

Photo 12.09.12: Bahamas

The more you booze

the better you cruise!

...says the little island man pouring wayyyyy too much rum in my frozen fruity drink!

Photo 12.08.12: Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny

While the hubby was out of the room, I took it upon myself to rearrange just a little bit (and stop mid-project to take a photo.  It's important to document the craziness.)  Really...our room was soooooo tiny.  As in "honey I don't know where you're gonna sleep because this room is barely big enough for one" tiny.  Or tiny like when I was in the 3rd grade and decided to see...how small I could actually write my homework and it still be legible.  Poor Mrs. Little.  She said my small handwriting was ruining her eyesight.  But in my defense her last name was Little.  And who can resist that?!?!