Flying weeds

Flying Weeds
Over 2 hours later...75% complete.  I ran out of steam and sweet tea.  And then the rain set in.  All weekend.  Fabulous.  Add some more water to my already gianormous weeds.  And I still have that grass section left to destroy.  That’s probably where all the earth worms are now hiding.  A few were unintentionally relocated or sacrificed in my weeding frenzy.  And a few may have experienced sky-diving without a parachute.  Sorry about that.  It wasn’t personal.

Photo Day 232: In the weeds (5.20.11)

Photo Day 232:  In the weeds (5.20.11)
I’m envisioning a summer with lots of time enjoying the sunshine while lounging around outside with a glass (or two or three) of wine. Unfortunately, these stupid weeds are putting a thorn in my summertime dreams. Normally, I would just get the strongest chemical around and douse those suckers into oblivion. But I’m afraid the raspberry bushes may not survive that kind of radioactive fallout. Or it could make the bushes produce freakishly mutated raspberries that when eaten will cause me to sprout an extra toe or something. Ya never know. It could happen.

So I’m going to have to tackle those bad boys the old fashion way…tediously pulling ‘em out one stubborn weed at a time. Ahhh…good times ahead. I’m soooo thrilled. Hummmm….maybe having a 6-toed foot wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Pretty in Pink

Pretty in Pink
Someone in my house has pink shoes. And it’s not me. Or Paris.

So if you see me taking pictures…
And you decide to walk through that area anyway…
And my camera happens to capture a glimpse of you sporting pink crocs…
And the photo makes me laugh…
Then it must be shared with others!

Photo Day 230: Retire me (5.18.11)

Photo Day 230:  Retire me (5.18.11)
I'm not quite 65 yet…and even though my birthday cake is already starting to look like a small bond fire on top…I do still have a way to go before burning down the house with 65 candles.  So I should not be coveting the retired snow-bird lifestyle.  But I am!   The boring, slow-paced, monotonous routine-filled days with scheduled once-a-week grocery shopping trips and cleaning sounds like heaven. 

And am I too young to join the group of retired old fellas who meet at McD’s every morning for some senior coffee?  Every McD’s has ‘em. 

Maybe they won’t even notice that I’m a bit younger.  Or that I’m a girl. 

Photo Day 229: Aerate it (5.17.11)

Photo Day 229: Aerate it (5.17.11)
Everything is starting to green up around here. That’s what these northern folks say when referring to the grass and trees sprouting leaves again (a.k.a. spring). (Never mind the fact that it’s the middle of May and the spring season is just starting for us and we will have the heat on in our house until approx the first week of June.) I’m just focusing on the greening up going on everywhere outside. Well everywhere except the winter sidewalk the hubby plowed with our snow blower. It was a great idea at the time. Unless it turns out that we killed the grass. Then it would be bad. Very, very bad.


So I think we need to help our little dead grass sidewalk in its struggling effort to green up. I mentioned to the hubby that maybe aerating that section would help it along. At which point my use of the word aerate totally derailed the hubby from the whole purpose of the conversation.

Who uses vocab like that?!?

Me.

(See the public education system in FL isn’t so bad after all!)

C’mon my man...focus! We have dead grass that needs fixing…and fast!

However, my method of accomplishing this aeration doesn’t really live up to the correct professional definition of the word. I asked the hubby to put on his spikey golf shoes and walk all over the dead grass sidewalk. And maybe roll the spikey garden-edger thingy while walking back and forth a million times. That should green it up in no time. I hope.  

If not…well hummm…I’m sure we have some green spray paint in the basement…or I bet Home Depot can color match paint to my blades of grass…

Photo Day 225: Please don't sing! (5.13.11)

Photo Day 225:  Please don't sing! (5.13.11)

Best.
Birthday.
Gift.
Ever.

The hubby commissioned an artist friend of ours to create a print based on my favorite photo of Beau.  An amazing piece of art created by an amazing friend given to me by my amazing husband.

Beau would totally approve!  (And say that his job of training the hubby is now complete.)

And to think that I asked for a nail gun for my birthday...

This is wayyyyyy better!

Photo Day 220: More bunnies (5.8.11)

Photo Day 220: More bunnies (5.8.11)

If anyone is missing a dust bunny…I found it under my bed. And I hope you don’t want it back ‘cause the vacuum cleaner ate it.

Which I’m guessing is what Paris believes will also happen to her. I wish I could capture the look of sheer terror on her face as she runs for her life as far away from the vacuum as possible. It’s truly priceless!

Photo Day 219: Can you handle it! (5.7.11)

Photo Day 219:  Can you handle it! (5.7.11)
I decided that I should not live a minute longer with a mismatched handle on one of our kitchen cabinets. I mean…really folks…who decides the best replacement option for a missing handle is to put large metal flower knobs in its place (which look like creepy eyeballs)?

Well 2 years of flower eyeballs is 2 years too many.  So I measured the handle spacing and took a quick trip to the orange box.  Now I thought my biggest issue might be matching the scrolly design.  O silly me.  The scrolly design was there AND they had 2 color options AND one was an exact match to our cabinet handles.  Score!  But wait!  There's always a BUT.  It's only 3 inches and I need 3.5 inches.  In fact...most of the "stock handles" are now only 3 inches.  Ughhhhh!

I was able to refrain from throwing a temper tantrum, however, I may have shared a few !#@%* words with the handles.  But there were no witnesses so that's just between me and those handles.

Photo Day 218: To the loo (5.6.11)

Photo Day 218:  To the loo (5.6.11)
Calories in.
Calories out.
3500 calorie deficit = 1 pound.

What I want to know is who cares how many calories are in just one pound!! C'mon..tell me something useful. Ya know...tell me how I can go to sleep and wake up 20 pounds lighter!  Now that would be useful information!  Although I'm guessing that it might require some kind of 6 month coma.  And the risk/reward analysis on the coma is probably not worth the 20 pounds.  But 40 pounds...hummm...maybe.  Still pondering that one. 

Anyway...I'd like to meet the person who only wants to lose 1 pound. To them I say go eat some Mexican and then go spend some time in the loo. That should do the trick.  In fact, you'll probably emerge 2 pounds lighter.

Oh noooo. It appears I have been officially corrupted by the hubby if I'm writing potty humor. Hummmmm....adding this to my I-need-therapy list.

My new food obsession is shredded coleslaw mix.  It's better than lettuce in my book.  It doesn't get soggy and it lasts forever.  And the best part is the cabbage/carrot mix has only 20 calories per 1.5 cups!  It's the equivalent of eating air!  And that is important to know since I've become a walking calorie encyclopedia. Seriously. Try to stump me. I dare you. I triple dog dare you. How’s that for some confidence in my I-retain-stupid-facts-in-my-brain skills!

Photo Day 217: Splendid tap water (5.5.11)

Photo Day 217: Splendid tap water (5.5.11)
I’m not a fan of drinking water. If it were up to me, I’d survive solely on sweet tea, coffee, and coke. But the vision of what that would do to my in-nerds keeps me downing at least 80 ounces of the boring h2o daily. Seriously I only drink water because I fear that my organs will start looking like the stuff pulled out of a hair-clogged bathtub drain. Which is quite possibly the most disgusting sludge ever.

So each morning I consume 20oz of water in between sips of my caffeine-laced coffee or tea. Today was a snooze button day so I opted for coffee with my water this morning. After making it half way through my water and a few sips into my coffee I couldn’t take it anymore. Both tasted like crap! My sleepy brain started trying to figure out if our water pipes were contaminated overnight and was it possible that I burned the coffee??

Then it hit me. That tiny little yellow packet of splendid goodness. Yep…I sprinkled it into my water and then used a spoon to stir my coffee.  Genius I tell you. Top of the class!

Photo Day 214: Rebel Washer (5.2.11)

Photo Day 214:  Rebel Washer (5.2.11)
Lately our basement has been screaming for attention. And I must agree that the complaints are legit. There’s a whole lotta spring cleaning and decluttering that needs to happen on our sub-terrain level. It’s been a long winter of “let’s just put this in the basement for now”.  Translation = we're too lazy to deal with it so we'll just stash it in the basement until later. 

Ring Ring.
Ello?
This is your basement.  It is later.  Now get your arse down here and deal with this $#!t.

Of course, I decided that it was not quite later yet (procrastination totally does not get the respect it deserves).  So the basement pulled out his trump card and enlisted the help of our washing machine in his clean me campaign.  Yep...the washer sprung a leak!

Good thing we have a spare!  Yep…that’s right…this smart girl has a spare washing machine stored in the basement (which I find ironically funny).  What can I say…some girls have a backup blow dryer, I have a backup washer.  I think it kinda makes up for not having a dishwasher.  Well…not really.  Nothing can make up for that.  Have I mentioned that I really, really hate dishes!?!  But I do love clothes.  Maybe that explains the extra washing machine.  Anyway I’m happy to report that the “spare” is working fabulously.  And bonus points to the hubby for doing a little organizing while swapping out the machines.  Win-win for me!

Photo Day 213: Geometry Lesson (5.1.11)

Photo Day 213:  Geometry Lesson (5.1.11)

15 degrees off center.  Huh????? 

Calculus...got it. 
English writing...a breeze. 
Geometry...can I go to the dentist instead? 

Luckily miter bob totally rocked geometry in school.  So I cut and glued together the latest vision that popped into my head. 

And managed to launch a piece of wood about 20 feet into the yard in the process while trying to cut 15 degrees off center.  That sucker shot out so fast it had me looking for dents in the car and cracks in the windshield.  Lucky for me...neither!  Whew!!  I'd hate to explain that one to the hubby. 

I still don't totally get it but apparently if I cut both ends of each piece at 15 degress off center...the angles all fit together and my "A" stands up straight.  Which is all I really care about.  I'll leave the geometry to 'ol miter bob.

I just wish that I'd decided to tackle this project BEFORE redoing my nails.  Ummmm....wood glue and moss grass are not such a good combination for a fresh manicure.

Photo Day 212: Redbox (4.30.11)

Photo Day 212:  Redbox (4.30.11)

Rainy day and a redbox.  Now if only I had a butler to fetch the snacks.

Ooooo Paris...I think it's time you start earning your keep around here...

Photo Day 211: Royal Flush (4.29.11)

Photo Day 211:  Royal Flush (4.29.11)
More like a royal pain in my arrrsssse.

I perfected my poker face...and I don't play poker.  Ever.  But if I decide to take up the game...watch out...'cause I now have the best poker face in town!

However, I must say the duck tape on my eyes may have been a bit excessive but it was the only thing to keep my eyes from rolling.  And getting caught rolling my eyes may have tipped my hand.