That's Odd!

We ate at this local diner for breakfast a while ago.  I saw this sign posted outside the bathrooms as we were leaving.  I started to rethink our decision to eat there and wondered what the car ride home would be like.

A bag of granola sold in my local grocery store named Crapola!  Made in Ely MN. Their slogan:  

"Makes even weird people regular"

I think it's funny and disturbing all at the same time.  Colonoscopy prep anyone????

And why does the girl on the bag look so much like me?!?!  Minus the pitchfork and chicken of course.  I'm not the farming type.  But if I were the chicken...I'd be concerned about that pitchfork.

What I want to know is when did street signs start talking????  As I approached the crosswalk I heard a man's voice counting down.  But there was no one around.  This can't be good.  Now I'm hearing voices that don't exist.  Luckily I discovered that it was the crosswalk sign.  Whew!!!

I waited for Mr. Talking Crosswalk to finish his countdown.  Surely he has more to say than just counting numbers.  Three...two...one...zero.  Silence.  And then just restarted his countdown again.  Ahhhhh...such a waste of taxpayer dollars.  Mr. Talking Crosswalk would be so much more effective if he said:  You will get hit by a speeding car if your @$$ is not on this sidewalk when I reach zero.  Wanna test me on this?

Recently on an elevator.  Which floor?  Going down?  2... 1... -1.  Hummmmmm...negative one?  Well...now that's different.

I Ugg You

Thank you Ms. Claus for my Ugg boots!  They have kept my toes from freezing off in our recent subzero temperatures.

Of course the hubby wanted to know "what about me? what do I get?"  Hummmm...you get a happy wife with 10 toasty warm toes!  And you can't put a price tag on that.  Therefore Uggs for me are actually a priceless gift for the hubby....

Ha! Ha!...he didn't buy that logic (i.e. bull$#%!) either.  Next time I'll just distract him with ESPN.